BY ZIM AHMADI

The often neglected heart whose veins run deep in the history of Malaysian independent music is the East Coast.

Kuantan, especially, bears witness to a congregation of punk, hardcore, metal and a myriad of other alternative genres. From the old Kuantan Plaza, to the Terminal; to newer venues like Warmroom Records and Noise Cave, Kuantan has been the supplier of music since the 80s, especially to Pahang, Terengganu and Kelantan enthusiasts looking for something new and on the edge.

A small quarter of this history can be found through the life of Amirul Adha, also known as Mierul aka Mashimierul akaka Damagerate. His darkwave, post punk project along with current members Iba, Ramzi, Muzzammir and Ziq, Quarter Life was formed at the threshold of a pandemic while the online landscape enabled a rediscovery of gloomy “doomer” aesthetic by propping up the likes of Molchat Doma, (and the dance trend), post-ironic goth memes, Brutalist architecture, lost 80s synth pop from the Soviet, and dancing bats.

Quarter Life embodies this, as lead singer and composer, but this aesthetic isn’t new to Kuantan. Mierul has been active in the scene for the past two decades and change. If you name just the ones he’s currently writing for, they include Thinlyveiledcollusion, a grindcore band featuring Emi and Jerry from Tools of the Trade; Best of Luck, a lofi-grunge band; and Excused, a hardcore-punk act. There are also bands he plays for like Piet Onthel and Ghuu, to name a few.

Amidst all this, Quarter Life was the project that found international fans (mostly Eastern Europeans on Bandcamp). The somber, oddly danceable pulse resonated with an audience Mierul never predicted. There is much to despair — AI creeping and overwhelming the arts, a cat-and-mouse game with local authorities and the overall state of the world.

In conjunction with Jabat Erat Fringe Arts Festival, we talk about all of that and a glimmer of hope in the past and the present. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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Zim: When Love Pandemic came out in 2020, at that time I thought you guys were international because you were under a label called District Records?

Mierul: District Records was our first [self-titled] EP! I was doing it for fun. Darkwave, post punk, was kinda new for me. Before this I wasn’t really into the genre, because I was listening to darker, more aggressive music. One day I was listening to more post punk bands like She Past Away (Turkish post punk band) and Joy Division and I thought to myself “Eh I can do this.” I uploaded it online, and suddenly someone from District Records PM-ed me. He said “I love this style.”

Turns out District Records is owned by Zemang. He’s an OG, he was in a band called Kuchalana during the age of subcultures, the heydays of bands like Carburetor Dung. But he was so low profile, I didn’t know who he was for quite a long time. District Records was definitely the start of it all.

Z: Wait, you only dove into post punk around 2019?

Well, I already knew about the genre, but I was just a casual listener. I didn’t own any t-shirts, or posters.

Z: Yeah, so no Joy Division Unknown Pleasures t-shirt.

(laughs) Nope. But yeah, I knew those bands. Nowadays, it’s hard not to know a certain genre exists. Everything’s more accessible now. But what really caught my attention was this band called Choir Boy. I was aware of raw post-punk like Joy Division, but was drawn to Choir Boy because it has that ’80s pop element.

I was also really into this Belarusian band, Molchat Doma. It was absolutely the perfect type of post-Soviet gloominess for the pandemic. That’s where I found more of the aesthetic, the sound. But the post-Soviet sound is only in the Love Pandemic album. The newer releases, like the Death of the Analog, is mostly goth pop, more synthy. But that 80s sound is definitely how we started.

It’s definitely because I grew up in the 80s. And not just post punk like Joy Division, Bauhaus, and the like, but I also loved 80s New Wave, like A Flock of Seagulls. And I also really dug 80s rock, like Kiss. And I was also learning how to mix. I was so curious about how 80s producers created their sound. Indirectly it brought it to all our songs.

Z: I’m definitely intrigued by how you do song arrangements too. I remember the first time I heard the drums on “We Dance”, it worked even though it felt amateurish and offbeat.

I don’t really set an expectation in my projects. I mean, of course we wanna make our songs listenable but the most important thing is that I like it. If people end up liking it, then it’s a bonus.

People asked us why we don’t polish our songs, like record them properly at iseekmusicstudio, but you know once you’re into music that already sounds hard like grindcore which benefits from rawness you can’t help but move towards that. If it’s polished, it falls flat. 

Anyway, this is all a longwinded way to say that sometimes I’m just too lazy to go to the studio. All excuses.

Z: What about Mierul beyond Quarter Life? Your name and the name Damagerate (Mierul’s alterego), pops up a lot. Like I see your name in Piet Onthel, and in ghuu. Even on the Quarter Life band page, there’s an album by another project called Shirley. Like why are there so many sides to Mierul, so many alter-egos?

Shirley is an experimental project which is basically all the things I wanted to do in Quarter Life, felt was not suitable for Quarter Life, but I still wanted to do it. It was this underground band from Vancouver, called Spectres that inspired me to make it. I wanted to release it as a side B, while still making it a part of the Quarter Life universe. A different side of post-punk.

But yeah I was doing that for fun too, and there was still a label called Glord Records that wanted to release it. And get this, they’re a black metal label. Kinda weird, but whatever works.

Z: Every time you release something “for fun” some label wants to release it.

(laughs) I’m just thankful someone likes it.

Z: Getting to know you is almost like getting to know the current Kuantan alternative music scene. If you dive deep into the Damagerate Bandcamp and YouTube (which is another alter-ego), it’s a whole treasure trove of documentation. Like there was an Experimental Fourtrack song you published on YouTube 15 years ago. My main question, when did you start making music and how old is this name “Damagerate”? How old are you?

I’m 39. I started listening to heavy  music when I was in standard 6, and I started going to my first gig at Form 1, and my first performance was when I was Form 3.

Z: What was your band called at the time?

Pinkies Funland! It’s on Bandcamp. Then there’s OURSECONDTORTURE. The bandmates are my cousins. Whenever we meet during Raya, we’d jam, and I’d tell them what to play, and I’d say “Let’s record.”

Z: So all of your cousins play music too?

Yeah but not seriously. They know how to play instruments. I would orchestrate them. They don’t even listen to metal (laughs). They would be playing Raya songs and I’d tell them “Man stop playing Raya songs, let’s play some metal.”

I’ve been making songs since I was Form 1. Actually if you look at my PC library from when I finished high school til around the time I started college, I already have hundreds of thousands of songs, even though I didn’t have any proper instruments until much later.

Z: Where did you hang out when you were a teen in Kuantan?

When I was Form 2, I would hang out a lot at the Terminal. At that time there were a lot of grunge and punk kids. I learned about all kinds of music. Big thanks to my parents. I was just a school kid but they still let me lepak, as long as I took care of myself.

Z: Do you remember the first band gig you ever watched in Kuantan?

It all started with grunge. I saw a band called Teddy Freddy. Even when I saw them jamming I was like, “Damn there were bands that sounded like this from Kuantan?!” I was so impressed. Definitely made me wanna make my own stuff too. The frontman of Teddy Freddy now is in the band Satwo.

Z: Wait, the husband and wife band with Rafiz and Maz?

Yeah! Rafiz is Teddy Freddy! He’s a legend in Kuantan. They were like our own Nirvana. I always looked forward to seeing him whenever he’s in Kuantan. And Satwo now is amazing. We hang out sometimes when he’s back.

Z: Tell me more about the Kuantan scene!

There’s actually a lot of newcomers. And they’re so bold. Even when they play more conventional genres like hardcore tumbuk tanah, they experiment. During our time, 15 years ago, we wouldn’t have dared to experiment so early. Maybe it’s because they have better access to music.

There are so many bands now, but they won’t give themselves exposure and record their songs properly. They would jam, make songs, even play shows, but they would never record it for outside listeners. Kuantan is sorta like Singapore. You’ll keep seeing the same faces across many bands, with the same lineups, even through different styles.

Shoutout to Warmroom Records, because they’re the ones that are always inviting bands, and organising shows or arranging tours. They have this space that a lot of bands come through, like No Good, as well as up-and-coming Kuantan acts.

They also have their own cafe that’s owned by the vocalist of Piet Onthel, Apis. It all started with him, me, Iba, Ramzi (Quarter Life), Epi & Mune (Changes). And now you have new people: Ziq (Quarter Life), Boy (my cousin), Muzammir dan Idil from the band Ghuu now excluding me because of personal commitments.

So Warmroom makes so many things possible for Kuantan. But we gotta accept that space is really hard to maintain, since there’s always the problem with authorities chasing after you.

And then there’s Noise Cave.That one is more ganas. Geng crusty. Hardcore punk bands from Germany go to Noise Cave for their tours. Warmroom is more of an all-rounder. Indie bands play there. Pop punks play there. Skinheads too. Whereas, Noise Cave…well, they’re just crustier. If you don’t wear a leather jacket, you might as well not be there.

Z: Are you serious? Are there still venues like that?

(laughs) Well…not really. Asrul owns Noise Cave! He’s played in a lot of bands too, like Unholy Smokers. He plays in a hardcore punk band now, called Slakt! Asrul is also in two bands with me, Excused and Dizguzted.

Z: Why don’t these newcomers record? Is it a self-esteem thing?

I think they’re perfectionists. Which isn’t a bad thing. If it’s a live show, people won’t remember if you don’t play as tight as you’d like in a month or two. But once recorded, 10 years down the line when you tell people “Oh this was my band.” It’s kinda scary to hear other people tell you “This is crap.”

As for me, I don’t really care what’s gonna happen in 10, 20 years if people wanna listen to my records. I don’t care if it disappears either. What matters is that it’s done, people listen to it. That’s it.

Z: I appreciate that you don’t like to hold on to things, but you still created VOID, which is a compilation of your past tracks into one LP.

Actually VOID was meant to be a farewell compilation. I felt like I was all out of ideas about what to do with Quarter Life. Maybe because it was never truly me. I like it but maybe not enough. Released several albums, did a 3-way split with Orang Planet & Clockwise, so I was like “It’s time.” But when I released it, there were all of these fans that discovered us through VOID. Some would DM me on Bandcamp from Europe.

I remember getting an email so early in the morning from a fan’s wife from Belarus. She asked if we could create a video as a band wishing her husband a happy birthday. I immediately thought it was a scam (laughs). Why do they want a birthday wish from us?

Z: Celebrity.

(laughs) He’s only been listening to Quarter Life for the past two months or so. Without stopping. But he’s also incredibly shy, so the wife wanted to surprise him. I actually didn’t like the idea. Who am I? Metallica?

I talked to her about how he even got into Quarter Life. And apparently this guy didn’t even listen to post punk or darkwave before us.

But yeah, since then, tak jadi nak quit.

Z: So I’ve noticed that the name of your band is Quarter Life and the name of your “label”/”alterego” is Damagerate, that made me wonder whether you were into videogames and if it affects your artistry in any way?

Yeah! I’ve been playing games at the exact same time I started playing music. When I was Form 1 I bought a Nintendo Famicom. At the same time, that was the era I was listening to a lot of hard music. I bought a Metallica cassette with my duit sunat (circumcision money). My dad wanted me to save it, but I bought that cassette and some game cartridges instead. So essentially those two things became the thing I couldn’t leave behind, no matter how bored I get, gaming and music will always have that connection.

Right now I’m playing ARC Raiders and occasionally Cyberpunk 2077.

Z: Yeah but that’s now, what about then? What games were you playing while you were listening to Metallica?

Before sunat, I listened to a lot of generic radio stuff, like Backstreet Boys, nasheed. After sunat, my uncle told me he was going to a cassette store, and I was so excited, “I have my duit sunat.”

And he brought back Metallica, Nirvana which was when I discovered aggressive music. I also really loved the game Double Dragon at the time.

And I bought the Sega Genesis because I wanted to play Mortal Kombat. There was so much hype around that game. And it was around the same time I discovered violence since the game had so much blood. Then there were cult movies like Dead Alive, really bloody zombie movies. I started discovering the extreme side of things, including bands. In Form 2, I already bought cassettes for bands like Morphine Angel, Opeth, around the same time I played Manhunt.

Z: What are your thoughts on a lot of the newcomers being into shoegaze, why are they into that?

It’s a revival, and I’m okay with that. They give it a fresh take. I think that’s really good, they take the old and make it into theirs. Same thing with skramz. Or just all of the ‘90s stuff people are trying to revive. At least it gives a chance for the newcomers to explore and discover older bands, trace the influence. Metal and punk have existed in every era. They’re hard to kill. They won’t die.

Z: Do you think this is their response to the state of the world right now? Like how Love Pandemic was a response to the Covid crisis?

When I’m making music, I indirectly relate it to the current situation. Pandemic. War. But I’m not really one to commit to a theme. I’m not trying to jump onto any wagons. I never think to myself “Alright, this time, I want to reflect the gloom of the world.”
My mood has nothing to do with the music I make, so I don’t wanna make any assumptions about the younger generation. To me, a great song is great no matter the occasion.

Z: So is the process of a Quarter Life track just complete spontaneity?

Yeah, I don’t have any blueprints. That’s why you’ll realise Quarter Life’s sound is very scattered. It’s not locked in one style. I like to finish a song in one day, everything on the spot.

If I’m stuck with a song for too long, I just reject it completely. It just means it will never be done.

Z: You’re saying in Dance Motherfucker Dance, you do all of the songs first and then you figure out how it’s going to be in the album later?

Yup. Nothing was set in mind initially. I do the songs, and then later I think about how it all connects. I even think about the song titles later. Whatever I’m into that day, that’s exactly what would be done. Depressing. Explicit.

Z: Have you ever thrown out a whole album after you’ve recorded it?

Of course. Had a hardcore punk band. I thought “5 or 6 songs would be enough for me to release a demo.” Then I finished it and thought “Fuck, this sucks.” I didn’t save a single thing, just deleted everything.

Z: Damn. Not a single stem? Instrumental track?

Nope. I’m scared that in 2 or 3 years I will realise too late that it actually wasn’t that bad, and then I end up regretting not releasing it (laughs)

Z: So I can’t ask if you’re writing anything for the future, since you’re the man of the present?

Exactly. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. We’ll see what I feel, or if I’m hardworking enough.

Z: With AI being at the centre of discussions regarding creativity, what do you think the future of music is like?

Generally I think of AI as just a tool. We can use it to bounce ideas, help our work, or just find a way to trigger inspiration. I use it for that.

But AI in creating art, I disagree with it entirely. I agree that whenever I write a song it can’t be 100% my sole expression entirely. Sometimes we write songs for the fun of it, and it’s not really reflective of who we are. But how can you write an AI prompt and ever think to yourself that this is your expression? How do you feel like it’s an achievement in any way?

The people that listen to AI music will probably like it, but you, as the creator, in what part of yourself do you feel satisfied about ever creating something?

I’m rambling, but you get me right?

Z: The hardest thing is trying to talk about how even if it’s good, it’s unethical and terrible, especially to casual listeners.

That’s what I’m saying. People who love AI music already don’t give a shit about music. If it’s good, it’s good. Like I don’t see why it’s a problem but like I don’t wanna absolve myself from ever accidentally liking an AI music without realising it.

But I just wanna go back to songwriting, specifically. If you’re using it to write, everything you write becomes meaningless. We write, as much as possible, to be true to our emotions at the time, or our influences.

And I don’t know what we’re “improving exactly”. We’ve lived at least 200 years with various forms of popular music, and people have been making great stuff just fine.

For people like us who first loved music through the underground scene, we know the beauty of finding something organically. But for casual listeners, they aren’t exposed to that culture. If they do listen to AI music, it’s really hard to fault them. People who know me know that I hate it, but I’m not gonna scold a stranger.

It’s also scary to pass judgment when you don’t know if you’ll end up depending on it in the future if the system has managed to make us depend on it, like in terms of mastering or mixing. But I still believe when it comes to the actual writing, I’ll never, never do it. It’s not mine. It’s not me.

Z: When you were approached to perform at Jabat Erat Fringe Arts Festival were you excited?

Yeah! Fendi from Carbuteror Dung approached me. He’s actually similar to that Eastern European guy that asked me for a birthday wish. He has an unhealthy obsession with our music (laughs). He’ll WhatsApp me now and then, “I’ve been listening to Quarter Life for two weeks straight.” Or “this album has hooked me, man.”  He’s the OG and he likes my stuff. I was super honoured. So when asked to perform, I immediately said yes.

Z: So what can the people expect from your performance at Jabat Erat later?

We’ll play almost every song in our discography. One or two songs from each release, from past to present. Maybe we’ll do a cover, which we rarely do. It’s a cover of a band where the members wear red caps. It’s a cover for the oldheads.

Also, whoever is going to watch us on that day, please wear all-black and wear white face with black eyeliner. Maybe we’ll bring a bat.

Z: (laughs) Looking forward to it. Thanks for taking the time!

Thank you man, see you there!

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Quarter Life will be performing at the Jabat Erat Fringe Arts Festival. Tickets are now on sale.